Staying true to your values and beliefs can be difficult, especially when you’re under pressure. It might be peer pressure, or maybe it is pressure at work or home. No matter what, when we deny ourselves of acting in accordance with our belief system and our values, we are creating small betrayals. There are six steps in making sure you remain true to yourself under pressure.
Define your values and beliefs.
Ask yourself, “what do I believe and why”? Is there a behavior I need to gain control over? What do I want to experience more of? What does a life worth living look like?
Create an accountability system.
Think about the top people in your life that you consider to either support you or protect you. Are these the kind of people that you can go to in time of self-doubt, worry, or nervousness? Are the people in your circle the kind of people that will call you out and gently remind you when your actions/behaviors don’t line up with your values and beliefs?
Be mindful of who you spend your time with.
Is there anyone in your circle of friends, family, or coworkers that have beliefs and values that don’t align with yours? While we don’t want to surround ourselves with only “like-minded” people, we do want to make sure the people we spend time with are authentic…they practice what they preach. Your time and energy is valuable, spend it with those that enrich your life and allow you to enrich theirs.
Filter out counterproductive content you expose yourself to.
What TV shows, books, and apps are you using most? What content are you consuming? These “small” and seemingly “inconsequential choices” are impacting you. Again, your time and energy is valuable. Believe in yourself and act like it. Are you a feminist, but listen to music whose lyrics are derogatory to women? Do you believe in abstinence before marriage, but watch shows where girls are having premarital sex? Do you believe in being wise stewards of your money and serving others with your financial gifts, but follow influencers on social media who only serve themselves? Make sure the things you consume align with your values and don’t persuade you otherwise.
Walk yourself through regrets.
You have to walk yourself through your past regrets in order to be brave in the present. I know there are things you sincerely regret that you may not have dealt with yet. Let’s deal with it now. It’s likely a memory or misconception about yourself that’s become part of your narrative. It’s that voice in your head that screams, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not qualified enough”, “My past has ruined me”. Let’s reconcile with and forgive our past selves so we can fully embrace our decisions in the future. What is it that I regret and why? How did I react in that moment and how can I react differently if it happens again? Do I need to atone for something? Do I need to apologize to someone, to myself, or even to God? How can I forgive myself?
Build thick skin.
When you stick firmly to your beliefs and values, you will always encounter people with whom you have differing opinions. During these encounters, be kind and compassionate, meeting their intolerance with acceptance. Ask questions. Seek to understand their point of view or why they believe what they do. Live authentically and don’t be blown like a leaf in the wind just because someone does not agree with you. Remain strong and firm, rooted in your beliefs.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us at 832-421-8714.