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In my work as a therapist, I've noticed that many people struggle because they set expectations that are almost impossible to meet, not because they lack motivation or because they don't work at it, but because the bar is set extremely high. A lot of the time they put off even setting a goal because they don't think they can do it. For example someone might say they don't have time to start exercising, or tackling a project, or socializing. In their mind, they need to "do it

Anxiety can show up in children in ways that aren’t always easy to recognize, especially in younger children. It’s a natural emotional response to new, difficult, or stressful situations that children face, and most of the time it’s not a cause for concern. For example - a child may be feeling scared and anxious about their first day of school, but those feelings go away throughout the day as they meet their new teacher, see some old friends, and start to learn the new routi

We hear it all the time: “I need to process this,” or “I’m still processing that.” But what does it actually mean to process something from a therapeutic perspective? Processing occurs when we try to make sense of an experience that has left us feeling unsettled—something that didn’t sit right mentally, emotionally, or physically. This might be an event, a conflict, a thought, a memory, or an emotion. Another way to understand processing is to think of it as the psychological

As parents and caring adults, we all want the best for the kids in our lives. We want them to feel safe, do well, and become confident, capable adults. Yet, we face questions along the way. How much structure is too much? How much autonomy is enough? Kids and teens need both structure and freedom in order to thrive. Erik Erikson’s work in the field of human development helps us understand why this balance matters, especially during two key stages of childhood and adolescence:

Now that we have taken a look at what to look for in friendships that last. Again, the Gottmans have four items that lead to romantic relationships ending, and I believe that we can apply them to friendships too. According to the Gottmans, the four things that can make a romantic relationship last are the following: build a culture of appreciation, gentle start ups, responsibility, and physiological self-soothing. Let’s take a closer look at how each of these might play out

We talk about red flags in romantic relationships, but what about in friendships? As a marriage and family therapist, I teach couples the four things that kill a relationship per the Gottmans: contempt, defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling. Each of these have been proven through evidence based research to lead to the demise of a relationship. It isn’t so far-fetched to assume that the same things apply to any other relationship, especially friendships. Let’s take a clo

Conversations about healthy masculinity, particularly during adolescence and young adulthood, have become increasingly urgent. Across education, work, mental health, and social life, many young men appear to be struggling. Boys now lag behind girls on several academic and professional indicators, and mental health outcomes tell an equally sobering story. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, roughly one in ten men experience depression or anxiety, ye

I’ve been noticing a lot lately that so many of us have the idea that we’re supposed to be perfect before we deserve good things. We’re supposed to be more regulated, less anxious, more confident, more assertive, less negative, bounce back from hard things in a minute, and so on. It seems like these messages sneak in slowly and quietly through conversations with well-meaning friends and family members, movies, books, advertisements, and what I think might be the biggest culp

The human brain is inundated with vast amounts of data every second. To manage this overwhelming influx, the brain employs various shortcuts such as chunking (grouping information) and unconscious bias—tools that help us quickly determine what is relevant for our survival and what can be disregarded. As a result of these mental shortcuts, what we consciously perceive is only a small, filtered portion of the reality that originally enters our minds. This selective awareness me

It seems like the holidays have a way of always sneaking up on us. One minute it’s pumpkin-spice season and the next thing we know, there are twinkling lights everywhere, Christmas playlists in every store, kids running on sugar highs while parents are running on fumes, and everyone asking, “So… any exciting plans for the holidays?” For many people, this time of year feels warm and magical. For others, especially those who are grieving, it feels like walking through a place

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but in reality, it can also bring pressure, overload, and emotional strain. Between family expectations, social gatherings, travel, and end-of-year responsibilities, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. Practicing healthy boundaries and intentional self-care is essential for navigating this busy season with more peace and authenticity. Start by identifying what truly matters to you duri

As humans, we are all connected by what are called universal longings or universal needs. Examples of these needs might be safety, stability, connection, love and belonging, and purpose. When these needs struggle to be met whether due to societal culture, isolating events, or relationship issues, technology presents as a seemingly harmless solution. We might turn to social media apps, designed to interact with the reward centers in our brains, stream a movie or TV series for

The holiday season can be a wonderful time filled with celebration, family, and tradition. However, it's also notorious for bringing stress, anxiety, and overwhelming expectations. Whether you’re hosting gatherings, shopping for gifts, or balancing work and family, holiday stress can creep in and dampen your enjoyment. Data from the American Psychological Association indicates that 89% of individuals report heightened stress levels during this period, and approximately 64% of

We turn away from death. Someone else handles the dead. Someone else makes the arrangements. Someone else takes care of it. We don’t deal with it. This makes me wonder: Does turning away from the process of death hinder our grief? She’s got a smile that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky Looking death in the eyes was the most selfless thing I could have done. Instead of having the veterinarian deal w

We all carry pieces of our past with us. For some people, those pieces are light and warm, shaping happy memories and a sense of “I’m...

When we begin therapy, we often want to focus on what's happening right now — the anxiety, the relationship struggles, the patterns...

A Calling I Never Expected When I lost my job in June of 2017, I was feeling discouraged and disoriented. My career up until that point...

“He’s such a narcissist.” “Stop gaslighting me.” “That triggered me.” “I’m OCD.” “She’s bipolar.” In recent years, conversations around...

Where do you even find friends as an adult? When we are younger, we are more likely to have opportunities to form friendships. This is...

For many kids and teens, body image isn’t just about how they look but also about how they feel about themselves. When a child develops a...