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Top Ten Things I Wish Couples Knew

As a therapist who works primarily with couples, I see that time and time again, each individual longs for connection, love, and to be understood. Though each couple has their own unique story, I find that there are many invisible parallels.

Here are 10 things I wish couples knew:

  1. You don’t need to be in crisis to come to counseling.

  2. Toxic behavior is not gender specific.

  3. Long term change comes from a daily awareness of your behavior.

  4. Ask yourself, “What is my goal in this argument?”

  5. Healthy relationships include time for each other, time with others, and time for yourself.

  6. If you stop dating, your relationship will more than likely suffer.

  7. Dates don’t have to be expensive! (Grab ice-cream and listen to your favorite jams in the car or talk in a foreign accent while you grocery shop!).

  8. Dates DO NOT include children, family, or friends.

  9. Dates need to be on a regular basis (at least twice a month). One fabulous vacation won’t save your relationship.

  10. Sex is not love. Sex is an expression of love, and is not the end all, be all.

Want to dig in more? Contact Sequoia Counseling Center to schedule couples counseling!


Natalie Frazier, LMFT

Natalie's work is primarily focused on Couples and Individual Adults. She is experienced in grief and loss counseling, traumas (sexual and life-threatening), marital relations (including communication skills and infidelity), and emotion regulation (such as anger management and depression). She seeks to be an ally to all communities.


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