To be honest, I don’t know where to start with addressing you. We have had so many ups and downs. I guess you have taught me some positives. You taught me how strong I could be in the midst of chaos. You taught me how I can persevere in the toughest times and overcome my own flaws. Most of all, you taught me how to fight my present circumstances, plausible outcomes, and anything else that isn’t meant for my betterment.
When I really look back at yesterday, I am so saddened because of the many different areas that challenged and hurt me. In these areas, more than anything else, I learned some maladaptive behaviors.
I learned, from yesterday, that I am not as good as everyone else. Everyone could afford more than me. They were given more opportunities than me because they were more deserving. They had better clothes and spent more time with their families. Yesterday, I couldn’t help but compare myself to others who had more. I blamed myself for not having more.
Because of you, yesterday, I was mistreated by someone I love. My mistreatment was verbal and emotional. At times, I wish it was physical because the verbal and emotional abuse taught me to close off my feelings to people who love me.
Because of you, yesterday, I don’t trust tomorrow. All I see is pain every time I look to tomorrow. Pain from friends and loved ones. I find disappointment instead of optimism.
Yesterday, because of you, I am in constant doubt myself. Yesterday, because of you, I am terrified to be happy because I know I will soon be let down. I am saddened every time I think of yesterday.
If you are having trouble dealing with yesterday, feel free to call Amy Wine Counseling Center at 832-421-8714.