How Early Life Trauma Shapes Us – And How We Can Heal
- Barbara Johns
- Sep 1
- 3 min read
We all carry pieces of our past with us. For some people, those pieces are light and warm, shaping happy memories and a sense of “I’m safe, people are nice, and the world is a good place”. For other people, those pieces are dim and heavy, with moments of fear, lack of connection, not being able to get the basic needs met, or a constant sense of instability that makes them think “I’m not safe, people are not to be trusted, the world is a scary place”.
Trauma in early life can affect people in so many different ways. Sometimes the effects are obvious, like crippling anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. Other times they can show up subtly – in our relationships, how we handle stress, and how we think or feel about ourselves and others. While no two people are the same and there might be different protective factors that happen alongside a traumatic event, early life trauma often leads to problems such as relationship struggles, work and achievement pressure such as perfectionism or fear of failure, physical symptoms, and mental health struggles. Everyone’s experience is unique and trauma can follow us through life in ways we might not even connect back to those early years.
Imagine a child growing up in an unpredictable home. They may never be certain if the day will bring comfort (or simply nothing at all), or if it will be full of conflict and fear. Since our brains work to keep us alive, his brain learns to scan for danger cues constantly, ready to react at the smallest sign of threat. Now think about this child twenty years later. He might find himself startled by slight changes in tone of voice or small disagreements, exhausted from trying to please everyone, and unable to relax even in moments of calm. These reactions happen because they are our body’s way of trying to protect us, even years after the original danger has passed.
Like I mentioned before, our brains are wired to protect us from danger and keep us alive. When a child experiences trauma, whether it’s abuse, neglect, or loss, the brain adapts to keep them safe. It keeps the nervous system on high alert and ready to respond instantly to threats. This survival mode is great and helpful when danger is real, but exhausting when it becomes active in everyday life. We may overreact to simple inconveniences or to the slightest sense of threat or danger, we may shut down when someone criticizes us, or we may avoid things that reminds us of our trauma.
If you recognize yourself or your experiences in any of this, know that you’re not alone and that there is hope for healing. With therapy, mindfulness, safe and supportive relationships, and courage to face our past, we can help our nervous system learn that the danger has passed. Even though we can’t go back and change the past, we can change the way that our past lives in us. With the right support it’s possible to get out of survival mode and create a future that feels different from the past.
Barbara Johns, LPC Associate
I believe that in order to heal, people need to have a safe space where they can explore what is contributing to their problems and how they can use their difficulties as fuel for personal growth in order to turn things around and live life the way they really want to. My goal is to provide you with that safe and supportive environment as well as with new tools and skills that you can take with you on your journey toward healing and growth.