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Letting Go of Control


“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”.  Over the past week, I heard this saying spoken a handful of times by individuals all across the board. After about the fourth or fifth time, I finally came to the realization that maybe it wasn’t just a weird coincidence and I was meant to be taking something from it.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with control, particularly the inability to control others. After weeks of trying to force specific reactions and responses out of others, it finally dawned on me that I was attempting to change things I had no control over. I was only making things worse and putting myself through unnecessary stress. When I had this epiphany, I decided it was time to let go and let things be as they were intended to. Doing so removed a huge weight from my shoulders and allowed me to find peace.

So how do we let go?

Embrace trust.

Rather than try and force things to work out the way you think they should, learn to trust the process and have faith that everything will work out the way it is intended to.

Control the things you can.

Make a list of the things that are in your control and focus on those. For example, you may not be able to control others, but you can control the way you react. In the end, you will be more effective and less anxious when you focus your time and energy on the things you can control.

Ground yourself.

When we feel out of control, we often let our anxiety get the best of us. We ruminate in our head about all the ways things could do wrong. Therefore, when anxiety starts to get high it is important that we take care of ourselves. Take a break to go for a walk, call a friend, or do some meditation. Bringing ourselves back down to earth and learning to control our emotions will make letting go of control much easier in the long run.

Positive Affirmations.

Develop healthy mantras to keep yourself going and remind yourself when you are in control. My go to mantra in any situation I can’t control is the three simple words “Let it be”. Saying these words in my head reminds me that while I have no control over the situation, I honor and respect myself enough to trust the process and believe in the outcome.

If you feel you could use some help in releasing control and living a more peaceful life counseling can help.  Call us at Amy Wine Counseling Center today. We can be reached at 832-421-8714 or contact us here.

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