Planning for "Yes" and "No" this Holiday Season

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but in reality, it can also bring pressure, overload, and emotional strain. Between family expectations, social gatherings, travel, and end-of-year responsibilities, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. Practicing healthy boundaries and intentional self-care is essential for navigating this busy season with more peace and authenticity.

Start by identifying what truly matters to you during the holidays. When you’re clear about your priorities (whether it’s meaningful time with loved ones, rest, or personal traditions), it becomes easier to say no to invitations or obligations that don’t align. Remember, declining an event isn’t rude; it’s an act of honoring your well-being. A simple, polite “I appreciate the invite, but I won’t be able to make it” can go a long way.

Emotional boundaries are equally important. Family gatherings can sometimes stir up old dynamics or tensions. Give yourself permission to step away, take breaks, or limit time in environments that feel draining. You don’t need to engage in conversations that make you uncomfortable, and you’re allowed to protect your mental and emotional space.

Incorporate self-care into your schedule the same way you would any holiday commitment. This might mean blocking out time for rest, movement, or creative activities. Even small practices (such as taking a morning walk, journaling, or enjoying a leisurely cup of tea or hot chocolate) can help ground you amid the holiday rush.

Often, it takes an intentional act of slowing down to offset the frenetic pace that is unfortunately the default setting for many of us. Unless we proactively carve out time for what matters most, the “most wonderful time of the year” can feel more like the “run, run, Rudolph” airport scene in Home Alone. By establishing healthy boundaries and making self-care practices part of the schedule, though, many discover that they have renewed capacity for both the planned events and the not-so-planned events that inevitably arise on occasion.

For some, creating an annual tradition can be a way to prioritize what is important during the holidays. For instance, my family and I made it a tradition to celebrate the birth of Jesus with an actual birthday cake and one of those giant balloons next to our Christmas tree. By honoring that tradition with a “yes,” that sometimes means that something else is a “no” in order for us to prioritize what is important to us.

Finally, stay attuned to your body and emotions as you navigate the holiday season. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or fatigued is a signal to slow down, not a personal failure. By setting boundaries and prioritizing self-nourishment, you allow yourself the opportunity to experience the holidays with more balance, intention, and genuine joy.

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Ryan Woods, LPC

My goal as a counselor is to help adults, adolescents, and children by providing a space to be heard, process life’s challenges, and develop the necessary skills to thrive mentally, physically, and spiritually. My overall approach to therapy involves cognitive behavioral methods, as well as narrative therapy. I view counseling as a collaborative effort in helping clients recognize strengths, identify needs, understand conflicts, discover new options, set personal development goals, and make informed choices.