“So, I don’t know how to say this, but…”: Why it’s important to have awkward conversatio
Have you ever had an “awkward” therapy experience? What was your response? Did you ghost your therapist? Did you cancel all future appointments and find someone else? Did you give up on therapy all together?
Whatever your response, I want you to know that you’re not alone! It is completely reasonable to expect that you may have some awkward experiences in your journey to find a therapist. But what I want to encourage you to do in those moments (as awkward as they might be!) is to talk about it with your therapist before making any decisions about moving forward.
Talk through the awkward.
Here are a few reasons why talking through the awkward, as opposed to avoiding it, could benefit you and maximize what you get out of your time with your therapist (even if that means terminating).
“I feel uncomfortable.”
Your therapist is human and may just be missing that you’re uncomfortable, or not fully understanding what you need. By bringing up these things, you are allowing you and your therapist to work together to determine whether you can make things work moving forward.
“I feel misunderstood.”
It is completely OK to tell your therapist that you feel like they just are not understanding you. This gives them the opportunity to work harder, and maybe even do things differently (like ask different questions), in order to make sure they really understand what it is you’re trying to communicate.
“I am not getting what I need out of this.”
Sometimes, it may seem that your goals and your therapist goals for you, are not the same. There could be many reasons why it may feel this way, however, if it isn’t brought to your therapist’s attention, they won’t know that something needs to change.
“I just don’t feel like you are a good fit for me.”
Sometimes, no matter what, you and your therapist are just not a good fit. Maybe they look like an ex, or sound like your Mom, or maybe they’re just not a great therapist. I always tell my clients that if they ever feel like things just aren’t working, or that we’re not a good fit, to let me know. My number one goal is to find my clients the most effective and beneficial help for them, EVEN IF THAT MEANS referring them to another therapist.
Finding a good therapist can be hard, for many reasons. But just because you are feeling misunderstood, uncomfortable or like your needs are not being met, does not mean something is wrong with you. A good therapist is always open and willing to hear what their clients have to say, and at the end of the day, if that means they are referring them to someone who can better fit their needs, then I would say that is successful therapy.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment, please contact us 832-421-8714.