1) Words of Affirmation – covered in my last blog here! 2) Quality Time 3) Receiving Gifts 4) Acts of Service 5) Physical Touch
If these 5 love languages are new to you, don’t worry! First, I encourage you and your partner to discover your own love languages by taking the quiz here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
After that, stay tuned! Over the next few months, I will be doing a blog to highlight one of the 5 love languages with tips on how to apply it to your relationship.
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The Five Love Languages blog series continues! Last time, I discussed Words of Affirmation and how to use verbal validation to emotionally connect. Today, I’m going to discuss the second love language, Quality Time. Are you unsure how to create quality time for connection in your relationship? While quality time sounds pretty self-explanatory, it’s important to note it can be defined differently from one person to the next. Both partner will need to describe exactly what quality time means to each of them. For example, one partner may view quality time as going out to dinner, unplugging from their phones, and engaging in meaningful dialogue. The other partner may view it as going to a movie together and just enjoying each other’s physical presence. Differentiating what quality time looks like to each partner can be very helpful in keeping realistic expectations when planning to spend time together.
Someone whose love language is Quality Time thrives off of their partner’s undivided attention. These moments are most meaningful if it consists of quality conversation and activities. Conflict and disconnection can easily arise if one partner is in need of quality time but the activity is plagued with too many distractions by other people and things.
Below are fun quality time ideas!
Relive Your Favorite Dates.
Take turns sharing some of your favorite dates/moments from when you first started dating. Then, try planning activities that mirror these moments or dates – bonus points if you add something to enhance the quality time aspect of it! (i.e. adding a picnic to the end of a bike ride through the park)
Schedule Regular Date Nights/Days.
This may sound like a no-brainer, but it’s something I constantly have to remind my couples to do! While weekly date nights are most preferable, it’s OK to do bi-weekly dates if you have a busy schedule. One complaint I hear often is that planning what activity to do, where to eat, etc. can be stressful, time-consuming, and ultimately ruins the fun. I recommend sitting down, brainstorming ideas together, and writing them out (TIP: make it fun by decorating a “Date Jar” with ideas written on popsicle sticks, or decorating a “Date Shoebox” with ideas written on colorful paper) – that way, you can randomly pick one idea out once it’s time for date night. No fuss involved!
Find opportunities to sit and simply talk with minimal distractions. You could make it a point to sit on the couch together after you both get home to reconnect for a few minutes and discuss your days, or have meaningful conversation over dinner, or even chat and enjoy each other’s company in bed during the last few minutes of the day.
Bring in Outside Help.
Nowadays, there are several companies that can lend a hand in planning some quality time activities if you’re feeling stuck or need some inspiration. DateBox is a monthly subscription service that sends you everything you need for a creative date night. You can personalize your dates by sharing your personalities, interests, and likes/dislikes, which DateBox takes into considerations before sending you a surprise date every month.
If you and your partner love traveling, Pack Up + Go is a travel agency service that plans surprise-filled, fun 3-day weekend trips for you. Again, you can personalize your trips by sharing your budget and preferences, then let Pack Up + Go handle the rest!
You may be thinking that quality time sounds nice, but it isn’t something you necessarily need to feel connected. As my 5 Love Languages blog series continues, keep a lookout for which language speaks to you and contains what you need to feel connected and loved.
Please give Amy Wine Counseling Center a call at 832-421-8714 if you have any questions about our therapeutic services or would like to schedule an appointment.